Growing up in England — as a British Chinese woman.
Born in West Yorkshire, England. Immigrant parents from Hong Kong.
My Chinese parents migrated individually to England in the 70s, in ambition to gain a fruitful life for themselves and family. Before I persist, I’m super grateful for my known privileged upbringing in the UK. Opportunities granted good education and a life my parents didn’t experience growing up in small Hong Kong villages. I’ve been privileged enough to be called an “expat” when living in another country.
So here I am in Sydney Australia, on the other side of the globe, experiencing another angle of life. I discover something I never knew would have great effect.
It’s a usual working day in life, I’m sat in a work meeting. I glance around the table and I see that all 5 of us are of Chinese heritage. I feel something, it’s a slow process to reasonate what. It feels.. Different. Nice. Unified. Why? I silently observed my new experience as I sat there. In 7 years of working life, that has never happened before. Also, why?
Maybe you’re thinking, what’s the big deal?
Growing up in a small town in West Yorkshire, I was the only Chinese girl in my high school year. There was another Chinese boy in the year above. But majority of the school were White Caucasian. In workplaces, a small minority cluster of East/South Asian at the most. Most places I went in my hometown growing up, I was always the only Chinese person around (minus if I was with my family). Living unknowingly white as I could, I still somehow drew attention.
Being a female came that extra special attention from the male species as I got older into my 20s. The penis species who would think it’s okay to (at volume) expressively communicate to “love me long time” in the street or closely whisper in my ear whilst walking by *cringe*. Yup, cool mate. What should I do with that? Take me in your arms immediately.
I hold various snippets of racial experiences and memories growing up Chinese in the UK. Snippets that I recall very vividly today years and years on. In those years, I thought the hurdle was to build a thick enough skin to not get upset or effected anymore, because well this is England — they’re not used to seeing people like you. My skin is iron thick for hearing ‘fwied wice’ or ‘chink’ — those impersonal racial comments I’ve gotten down. Though, for my darling Chinese name and I, we’ve been through a bit more. More-so as an adult (believe or not) than as a kid or teenager in school.
Progressing towards my mid 20s, I’m online dating. Logged in, open to 5km of Pontefract, West Yorkshire — life excels. A place I didn’t expect my Chinese persona to effect looking for a match, but hey this is England — they’re not used to seeing people like you. I’m 25. “Is that really your actual name? Haha”. Purposeful matches to slur some fun racial name calling then a quick unmatch so I can’t reply — Smoooth. And there it is, a screenshot of my Tinder profile posted on Lad Bible with the caption “nice name” for those extra viral world wide web lolz — claps to dat maaan. Cyber bullying is one thing, whilst dating is second. Yup, cooool so er… That was England.
FYI. I have built thicker skin over time, but my tolerance as a 30 year old woman don’t accept these experiences today.
Introducing... Life in Sydney as a British Chinese human. Hey Sydney. 44% population of Chinese in one city. Hey. I love that. I don’t stick out like a sore thumb anymore. The White Australians know what dim sum is and like to yam cha. Amazing. No upfront shits on the floor when I tell someone my name (maybe some questions but that’s always been okay!). In the space of 2 years, I’ve only had “But, why the -E?” from a Malaysian Aussie man in his 60’s and a slightly old-school Chinese colleague—but I think that’s a pretty solid success of being accepted in society. Am I riiight?!
Not living as a minority absolutely changes my life, I cannot feel more racially integrated (in a Western society) than this I don’t think?! I feel more proud of my ethnicity than ever before, I get to bask in it! Along with my White friends too. I standby my upbringing and background of my parents, it’s very common here in Sydney with families who have migrated from Indonesia, China, Brazil, Taiwan, Italy, everywhere. I don’t have to defuse what I eat around people or explain where I’m really from 80% of conversations. It’s my top-of-the-list reason why I love living in Sydney, over the typical British answer of it being sunny all the time (that’s a tiny bit part of it). I can’t imagine going back to England for those past experiences above. The thing is, at the time I didn’t know I didn’t have to put up with them. Now, I get to know there’s a life experience where I don’t have to. My main wish is for my family to experience this life too. During my parents time growing in England, they had their fair share of racism, injustice and discrimination presented to them, oh England. However, I believe they lived a good life, slogging their guts working extremely hard for 30 years to give my sisters and I an absolutely amazing educated life that we’ve all utilitised well and differently. They retired in their 50s, resting and enjoying hobbies.
It’s a very rainy Spring Saturday afternoon here in Sydney, so it’s not all about the weather.
